1) This is surely the TOP way:- Wanna BE CELEBS easiest way --Become a part of reality show celluloid , perform some bold bitching, fighting , romancing( the limit is what u decided , more public n bold more time u get on prime time news) moves with not necessary opposite gender person.--Bang Bang -- U are in the breaking news :)
2) Make a so called "horny" ( even the blurred one will do ) LOOK ALIKE act of public display of "sex"( not necessarily u meant it-- even flying off the tangent would give you at least 30 second of tabloid . hurray !!!--- U are in news and in pockets of at least half a billion people within a day of two.
3) Run over pedestrians and not so much liked people of the nation , get caught but drive a costly car if u don't have one beg,borrow, steal ; It will add spice to your column ( they don't give a damn for autos and truck drivers RASH driving massacre )--- wow Maverick u made it to at least side column of front page and 10-20 second in prime time show.
4) Be a politician , the bigger the better ; the harsh, the meaningless , the immature,the insane and witty your speeches and actions are, the perfect for your career growth . If you have a criminal background , a few serious charges, u are in for a race with pole position if not try manifesting one out.
5) Be the part of BIG GAME ( Rape, scandal , casting couch, rath yatras, riots, political melodramas, Proxy money settlements, bookies , bids (any kind but the numbers should be very high), the list is endless ).
6) If you cant be part of any one of top 5 , don't worry there is a new one for you but you can only enjoy it in heaven -- guessed it right -- Either commit suicide ( please have a silly reason ), or get involved in social unethical crime scene in the mighty " khap panchayat " scenic drama ; this one needs to be addressed more seriously although.
7) Get high on cloud 9 in so called social secret orgies , hallucinate all night , bang on beavers and have a gala time --Is this a crime -- Not until someone call police in the wee hours. then you get bail(only Richie rich ones) n considered minors. woww ... here u get everything under the the mask of innocence.
8) Be a fashion catastrophe( romancing snakes in international fests) or kiss the most hated celeb around , although this one is just for last league celebs but one can have ideas to make it to local news if u cant u can always use money power.
9) Get a cracker-jacker of a news , make one -- for e.g "U found a way to hell/heaven" or " date of end of world" , do remember the crime spot.. sorry the epicenter of the news should be the most unknown , uncommon,uncanny, supernatural place ... If you hit a jackpot .. u can be in an special report show ;)
10) This is the least you can do if you have a desire to be camera caught for insane reasons be the part of mob , picture backgrounds i.e extras rather pooled in extras ( example wud be shown in latest movie Peepli live ..sm Mata act.. go you tube it ) and there you go ... still made it although ur face is not edited or glowed or circled red, but there u are although showcasing a confused look , u always knew u r clicked/shot by lenses .... SAFEST way.
The list is ever evolving , Like a music mania ranking which keeps on getting updated every week. One can always contribute to it , by his INSANITY instincts . But Its always better STAY SANE INSIDE INSANITY.
Good one, I would describe simply: Not 10, but 3 3 ways: Be Rich, Stay Famous (infamous too, would do) or be insane. Sure shot Fame!! :)
ReplyDeletethanks but I think simplicity is also getting old,N yea These three u stated are the most important ones :)..
ReplyDeleteHello Saket!
ReplyDeleteThe post oozes with sarcasm and I love sarcasm! :) Simplicity is on the brink of extinction! Air the shows that that are of good 'content' and people yawn and write it off as 'gyaan'! It is 'Emotional Atyaachar' era! How else would a loser like Rahul Mahajan hog the limelight otherwise?!
Nicely written :)
Thanks for visiting Phoenix on Pavan's suggestion & also for the follow :)
thanks raksha , its always nice to see people of mega blogs visiting .. :)
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